Democracy 2020!: Pick Your Favorite Pussy Grabber Reply

By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit

Exile in Happy Valley

Good morning dearest motherfuckers, it is spring time in this the plague besotted year of our lord Satan, twenty-hundred-and-twenty, and both major party candidates for the highest office of the greatest democracy imperialism can buy are confirmed geriatric sexual predators. There exists no other way to describe the painfully hilarious absurdity of our nation’s ascent into the stinky rafters of its own proverbial asshole. Webster, Oxford, Gore Vidal, and a childhood of blaxploitation cinema have failed to develop in me a drag queen’s tongue sharp enough to sum up this nation’s plight in the heat of the Kali Yuga better than the simple, painful, basic fact that our most cherished plutocratic ritual has been quite literally rendered to a game of Pick-Your-Favorite-Rapist. After centuries of the finest and most flowery propaganda that genocide can afford. After decades upon decades of shining cities on the hill and America, the indispensable nation, the exceptional hammer of global humanitarian benevolence, Trump vs Biden is the punch line to the sickest joke the devil ever wrote.

If Mr. Biden were simply another Clintonian pussy grabber to rival Slick Willy’s orange nationalist dauphin, that would be totally within the realm of normal Beltway hypocrisy, but Biden’s crimes aren’t relegated simply to his sexual perversions. The man has built a lackluster career on chauvinistic patriarchal pandering, race-baiting tough-on-crime macho posturing, and almost sociopathically casual war-mongering. He blew up the Middle East, scape-goated inner city black youth, verbally scolded Anita Hill, and finger fucked anything with a vagina’s hair that came within groping distance on live television, all with time to spare to cut fat checks from Raytheon and play squash with Strom Thurmond. To wrap it up like a neat severed limb, Joe Biden is Donald fucking Trump without the bronzer.

And this is the guy? Really? This. Is. The guy? After four years of exhaustive progressive plastic surgery to lift the face of a neoliberal party hapless enough to hand the White House to the dumbest human being on the fucking planet, after four years of Scandinavian posing, virtue signaling, AOC worshipping, pussy-hat wearing, pseudo-socialist “Revolution”, our uber-PC saviors in the “Resistance”; a cultish clique of reverse social media trolls who will have you “deplatformed” and properly lynched for the micro-aggressive ableist bigotry of calling your fucking math homework ‘stupid’, have passed up a completely viable fraud like Bernie to throw their weight behind the Grand Wizard of pussy grabbing? If this wasn’t real life, I could swear in sixteen languages that it was a George Carlin sketch.

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