At this time of year we traditionally reflect upon our blessings and forgive those who have trespassed against us. But we’ve been trying that for millennia, and the results have been unsatisfactory. So let’s discard the accumulated wisdom of all humanity’s spiritual traditions and focus our mental energy instead on how much we dislike various awful people around us. Merry Christmas.

1. Manchinema

Sens. Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema of West Virginia and Arizona can be combined into one entry, Manchinema, both to save time and because it sounds like an obscure disease. “I’m afraid you have Manchinema,” says the doctor, looking grave, “and it is eating away the lining of your small intestine.”

Manchinema were seemingly grown in a lab to cause the most mental anguish possible to America’s progressives. They both adore the filibuster, which makes the anti-democratic Senate even less democratic. Why do they feel this way? Because, they say, they love democracy. It’s like supporting Mohammed bin Salman because you love Jamal Khashoggi.

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