Let’s Go Brandon!

By Aleksey Bashtavenko

Academic Composition

Once upon a time, in the midst of the postmodern haze that had descended upon society, lived Don Smith, a frail and terminally ill octogenarian who bore an uncanny resemblance to Joe Biden in stature, eye color, gait, and even style of dress.

At a height of around 6 feet tall, Don’s stature mirrored that of the former leader, imparting an aura of authority even in his weakened state. His eyes, a piercing shade of blue reminiscent of the sky on a clear day, held the same depth and contemplation as Joe Biden’s. They seemed to have seen decades of history unfold, reflecting both the weight of time and the wisdom that comes with age.

Don’s gait, while slowed by the passage of years, echoed Joe Biden’s characteristic stride – a careful and deliberate movement that projected a sense of measured confidence. With every step, he evoked a quiet determination that one might associate with leaders who have weathered life’s storms.

Yet, beneath the surface of this seemingly measured confidence lay a poignant irony that exposed the fragile nature of postmodern times. Don Smith’s deliberate steps, intended to convey an air of self-assuredness, were in stark contrast to his inability to affirm even the most basic facts of reality.

His grandson’s inquiries about past allegations revealed a disconcerting truth: that the very man who projected an image of quiet determination was ensnared in the nebulous web of postmodern ideology. Don’s hesitation to confirm or deny the accusations showcased a worldview where the lines between reality and narrative had blurred beyond recognition.

While his gait mirrored Joe Biden’s, exuding a semblance of authority and wisdom, his response betrayed the fragility of his convictions. The postmodern dogma, which propagated that truth was subjective and that power defined reality, seemed to have eroded even the simplest facets of Don’s own narrative. This left his “measured confidence” standing on shaky ground, a veneer that crumbled under the weight of his inability to grasp and affirm basic facts of his own life.

As Don’s grandson sought answers, the irony became palpable: the same man who walked with a careful and deliberate stride was paralyzed when it came to acknowledging the concrete events that shaped his own existence. Don’s posture of leadership and sagacity, reminiscent of Joe Biden’s, became a poignant illustration of the precarious nature of postmodern beliefs – a belief system that rendered even the most resolute personas vulnerable to the destabilizing currents of doubt and uncertainty.

In terms of style of dress, Don Smith had unconsciously gravitated towards a wardrobe that mirrored Joe Biden’s polished appearance. His choice of attire included neatly tailored suits, often in classic shades of charcoal and navy, underscoring a preference for timeless elegance over fleeting trends. A subtle nod to a bygone era when men’s fashion was characterized by formality and sophistication.

Even their manner of speech bore resemblance, with a shared cadence and tone that exuded a mix of conviction and contemplation. Don’s chuckle held the same undercurrent of seasoned humor as Joe Biden’s, a trait that came from having witnessed the evolution of society firsthand.

It was as if Don Smith had absorbed not only the physical attributes but also the essence of Joe Biden’s presence – a presence that seemed to encapsulate a lifetime of experiences, a bridge connecting eras of change, and a voice of reason in the midst of postmodern turbulence.

As Don lay on his deathbed, his grandson, a young man deeply influenced by the bewildering currents of the era, paid him a visit.

“Grandpa,” the grandson began earnestly, “I’ve heard whispers about allegations from the past, about Me2 accusations against you. Did you really engage in those actions? Did you really hurt people?”

Don, his voice quivering with age, peered at his grandson through rheumy eyes. “Ah, my boy,” he sighed. “You see, truth is a slippery thing in these times. Logic is but a tool, wielded by those in power to shape their narratives. Reality, they say, is but a reflection of bias and the pursuit of dominance.”

His grandson frowned, grappling with the complexity of his grandfather’s words. “But Grandpa, these accusations, they’re serious. Did you or did you not commit those acts?”

Don chuckled, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “You see, my dear, I was a loyal Democrat, a staunch follower of my party’s lead. I gladly embraced their ideas, even if it meant surrendering my own rights. My career in banking flourished, and I was admired for my integrity.”

The young man persisted, “But Grandpa, these allegations… they say you had non-consensual relationships.”

Don’s eyes glazed over as he gazed into the distance. “Ah, the past. Memories become misty over time. The postmodern narrative has woven a tapestry where truth blurs. Can I deny or affirm those allegations? When truth is an illusion, how can I stand against it?”

“But Grandpa,” his grandson insisted, “you have a moral responsibility to answer for your actions!”

Don’s lips curved into a wistful smile. “Responsibility, my boy, is but a relic of the past. In the 1970s, relationships flourished at the workplace. But now, the winds have shifted, and the past has been reframed by a generation that sees shadows and motives in every corner.”

The grandson’s frustration mounted. “But Grandpa, there must be a truth! A reality we can hold onto!”

Don’s voice grew gentle, his words carrying the weight of a lifetime’s reflection. “Ah, my dear boy, the postmodern tale we live in, it preaches that all White men bear the weight of an institutional guilt. A guilt woven into the fabric of our existence, regardless of deeds done or undone. We are painted with the broad brush of privilege and accused by default.”

The grandson stood, conflicted emotions etched on his face. “But Grandpa, what am I supposed to believe? How can we navigate this world of shifting truths?”

Don’s gaze fixed on his grandson’s earnest eyes. “My boy, the world spins on its axis, ideologies ebb and flow, and truth remains a shadow in the fog. Find your compass, anchored in values that withstand the storms. For even in this postmodern sea, there are constants we must cling to.”

And so, the grandson left Don’s bedside, his heart heavy with the weight of the times, yet resolved to seek clarity amid the chaos. In an era where truth had become a mirage, the journey to navigate the shifting sands of postmodern existence had only just begun.

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