By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit
Exile in Happy Valley
Well, dearest motherfuckers, I had published my doubts, but it appears that Old Man Biden is prepared to finally end our twenty year clusterfuck in Afghanistan by the end of summer after all. Well, sort of. Like any American peace deal, this one comes with a few bullet hole shaped asterisks. While “Combat” troops are set to fuck off by the end of August, the US still intends to keep a sizable contingent of heavily armed Americans at its 36 acre Branch Davidian style compound in Kabul along with Satan knows how many CIA agents. Biden is also maintaining colossal fleets in the Persian Gulf to keep up America’s air war on peasant goat farmers with so called over-the-horizon capability.
So peace may be a strong word for a weak gesture, but it’s still more than I had hoped for from a century long chickenhawk like Joe. And despite the incessant sob stories coming out of the mainstream media, who will have you and anyone unfortunate enough to listen believe that imperial conquest is the key to feminism in savage brown countries, there appears to finally be something of a bipartisan consensus that Afghanistan has been a gigantic waste of time and resources. Which frankly begs the question, what the fuck are we still doing in Iraq?
Out of the two flagship wars on terror, Iraq was always the more obvious mistake. At least Afghanistan had actually hosted the fuckers responsible for 9/11, even if they were more than willing to hand them over before we started shooting. The Iraq War had been precipitated on such obvious lies that I was able to expose them on my PC at 15 in between lesbian porno binges. There were no weapons of mass destruction. Saddam fucking hated al-Qaeda more than we did. And yet we’re still there. Biden can call them advisors all he wants but some 2,500 troops are still in Babylon, ready to die for some hopped up neocon conspiracy to control the world’s oil supply.
There are currently two predominant excuses for our continued presence in hell and if taken together they are almost comically oxymoronic. Americans must occupy Iraqi soil to finish off what’s left of ISIS and contain the apparently Iranian backed Shiite militias who whooped their ass into submission. It was dangerous extremists like Kataib Hezbollah who helped the evil Iranians crush the Islamic State after the American trained quislings in the Iraqi Army literally turned tail and ran for the hills. What’s left of ISIS is hanging on by a thread and America is engaged in a heated tit for tat bombing campaign with the only people capable of finishing them off. Mind you that neither one of these “threats” to Walmart and apple pie would even fucking exist if it wasn’t for the forty years of incessant warfare made possible by US tax dollars.