Presidential Election 2016: No Matter Who Wins, We Win

Reflecting on the Presidential election that’s coming up this year, it seems there are really only four possible scenarios.

Scenario A: One of the neocon errand boys seeking the GOP nomination wins, and U.S. military aggression in the Middle East escalates once again, while no progress whatsoever is made on issues of importance to the Republican “base.” The economy continues to go down the tubes, class divisions continue to widen, the national debt continues to grow, and political polarization between Team Red and Team Blue continues to expand. The Republicans emerge from it all more unpopular than ever.

Scenario B: Donald Trump gets elected President. The Left experiences massive epileptic seizures, and goes into full oppositional mode of a kind that surpasses even that of the Bush years. Meanwhile, Trump governs from the Center and doesn’t really seem to accomplish all that much. His enthusiastic supporters begin to feel they’ve been taken for a ride. The neocon-controlled press (e.g. Fox, talk radio) starts whining that Glenn Beck was correct all along when he said that Trump was a closet liberal.

Scenario C: Hillary Clinton gets elected President. The Right experiences massive epileptic seizures and goes into full oppositional mode of a kind that surpasses even that of the Obama years. Meanwhile, the Clinton administration actually turns out to be rather conservative, particularly on foreign policy and economics, though in its hysteria the Right hardly notices. Maybe a tad bit of progress is made on deficit reduction. The Left is so disgusted many of them start to seriously reconsider whether supporting Democrats is worth the bother. The neocons are happy because Hillary turns out to be pretty damn hawkish on Israel.

Scenario D: Bernie Sanders gets elected President. Massive cardiac arrests take place across the Red States. Massive orgasms explode across the Blue States. Two years in, it appears the Sanders administration is basically the third Obama term. The Left starts thinking, “We busted our asses to get this guy elected for this?” Sanders spends his time throwing out half-assed welfare state “reforms.” The neocons don’t care because President Bernie is happy to compromise with the military-industrial complex in order to advance his domestic policies. The Right cries “Socialism! Socialism!” even as class divisions continue to widen.

Whichever way things go, we win. Because more and more doors will be opening for the eventual emergence of the pan-anarchist frontpan-secessionist meta-party, the Mailer model, or Invictus 2020.

Leave a Reply