By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit

Exile in Happy Valley

After what feels like eight-thousand months of incessant primary election bullshit, the most important waste of a Tuesday afternoon in your lifetime has finally come to an end but it hasn’t exactly been a merciful one. Donald Trump and a GOP which has spent over a decade building its entire public persona around him has been shellacked, and not by the typical midterm setbacks. This thing was a fucking mugging. The worst primary loss by the party of any sitting president since Gerald Ford was left holding Nixon’s flaming baggage in 1974.

I typically have very little respect for these sorts of plutocratic rituals, but this thing came closer to a public lashing than the usual ballot box cabaret and I can’t pretend like I’m not at least a little bit turned on right now.

Naturally, the Republicans are not exactly taking it on the chin like Gary Cooper. When they aren’t busy dumping on the electorate they failed to sell a recession to, they are screaming bloody fucking murder from the highest rooftop about the inevitable communist purge that is upon us. I can almost hear them now, gnashing their teeth like Old Testament catamites and singing songs of soul raking doom.

According to them, the gathering storm clouds are heavy and black with locusts, the borders are opening up like corrals packed with unkempt hordes of lecherous brown Bolsheviks, the CDC is cruising the playgrounds of Peoria in mobile sex change laboratories masquerading as Christian bookmobiles, and the Social Democrats are coming to paint the Capitol blood red!

All. Eight. Of them.

Yes, you heard that correctly, dearest motherfuckers. Even with all the sulfuric furor over the coming Maoist assault on your precious bodily fluids, the Democrat’s crushing blue tsunami only raised the number of members of the DSA in the House from two to eight, all of whom appear to be falling in line behind the leadership of known Zionist pushover Hakeem Jeffries like freshly spanked quire boys in a pederast conga line.

The Senate also has one new comrade with Abdul El-Sayed, but even this supposedly radical Islamic lunatic spent more time campaigning with Kamala the Cop than Hasan Piker. I really do hope that the anti-Zionist angels of this cadre’s nature win over in the end, but I’m not betting any money on it. The unkind reality here is that even if these kids are as radical as their scrubbed social media profiles may suggest, they are still just a handful of tepid revolutionaries in an overwhelmingly counter-revolutionary party.

Call me a cynic again but I strongly suspect that, like most red scares, this one never really represented much of anything resembling a real threat. For the most part, the great 2026 as-seen-on-Fox-News DSA siege of the DNC appears to have been little more than an overhyped attempt at distraction dramatized by desperate Republicans.

The DSA didn’t win the 2026 Midterms and the Democrats they serve didn’t either. Iran won this election by turning a war Trump launched for Netanyahu into a smoldering quagmire and then letting him sit in it for eight months.

In both 2016 and 2024, Trump won most independents and swing state populists with one simple promise; “I am not George W. Bush” and in 2026 he flushed whatever little isolationist street cred he had left down the fucking toilet by putting Israel first and feeding the economy to the one forever war that even Dubya was smart enough to avoid. Just add the Epstein Files and it’s kind of a miracle that anybody voted for the GOP at all this year.

Donald Trump’s only hope against the indictment of his own looming shadow was to convince Middle America that a handful of heavy breathing commies somehow represented the values of a party bougie enough for both him and Elon Musk to have been major supporters in the not-so-distant past.

With that being said, this red baiting hattrick may have failed to save the MAGA brand from a bed it shit one too many times but it did successfully distract the voting public from a very real threat to democracy within the Democratic Party and that is the meteoric rise of the CIA Democrats.

While only about a dozen Democrats ran this November as open socialists, a whopping 67 ran with national security backgrounds. All part of a larger surge in military-intelligence Never Trumpers who began running as Democrats shortly after the Donald’s first electoral victory as a pseudo isolationist back in 2016.

The only person who seems to be covering this troubling trend is Patrick Martin with the Trotskyite World Socialist Website, who published an enlightening pamphlet during the 2018 midterms titled “The CIA Democrats” and hasn’t let up since.

Back then, only about a dozen former spooks ran as pro-war Democrats but most of them won and their numbers have more than doubled over the last few election cycles.

This has come to include senators like Elissa Slotkin, a former CIA analyst who served in the Pentagon under both Bush and Obama, and Andy Kim, another Pentagon ghoul who helped lead the charge to declare total war on Putin’s Russia over the NATO proxy war in Ukraine that none of the CIA Dems seem to think Trump is sufficiently committed to despite the billions of dollars in war machinery he’s shipped to the bloodlands over both his terms.

However, in the 2026 midterms, this surge in DNC super hawks was probably best personified by the rise of the so-called Hellcats; four female Democrats with military-intelligence backgrounds who ran on bombastically pro-war campaigns against GOP incumbents in swing states. Three of them won. Cait Conley of New York, Rebecca Bennet of New Jersey, and Joanna Mendoza of Arizona. All of them ran as “moderates” on most issues but ran to the right of the GOP on foreign policy and all of them are essentially neocons running on the sickening notion that war is feminism as long as a woman is committing the atrocities.

So, at a time when a very publicly fascist MAGA movement is imploding, these barely covert fascists are approaching the breach, and they aren’t doing so to confront the garish police state Trump has hastily erected. They are doing so to hijack the beast in high-heeled shoes and run it more efficiently while selling their efforts to a badly battered electorate as some kind of much needed reform.

It’s almost too twisted to be true. It’s almost as if the war machine had planned it out this way from the beginning….

….Just think, in times of surging radicalism and deep democratic discontent, a fraudulent populist runs against the system he has been actively financing his whole life. Against all conceivable odds, this brash loudmouth wins and builds a massive blue-collar cult of personality around his rebellious persona. The system appears to push back with investigations into the populist cult’s feeble ties to Putin’s Russia, only emboldening the personality cult and giving their fearless leader non-interventionist street cred in the process, even while he doubles down on preexisting anti-Russian policies to prove his patriotism.

The toxic personality cult eventually grows rabid enough to allow the fraudulent populist strongman the muscle needed to pass police-warfare state policies that prove to be too draconian even for much of his own faithful and they finally abandon ship too little too late. With populism of any kind sufficiently discredited, the system it theatrically rejected swoops back in to save the day and make everyone feel safe as houses while they take control of a populist enhanced death star they have zero intention of dismantling….

This is not a conspiracy theory so much as it’s just a matter of historical mathematics. We’re basically talking about a reverse Third Reich here. While Germany’s Social Democrats built a massive bureaucratic police state with help from the reactionary Freikorps to defend Weimar Germany’s new plutocracy from both left- and right-wing populist movements, creating the architecture Hitler needed to rise to power in the process, Trump rose to power first and left a Fourth Reich behind for DNC Freikorps to dress up as a democracy while using a smattering of social democrats for cover.

It’s also not far from what Obama did as recently as 2008, making everybody feel good about largely cosmetic “hope and change” while continuing and in many cases enhancing the unpopular Bush police state that put a pseudo-outsider in power in the first place. And round and round we go.

In a system where the same corporate warlords and deep state thugs control the leadership of both predesignated major parties, the bad guys never lose, they just shift their weight back and forth from one side of the aisle to the other. But as long as both sides remain committed to the system itself that grants them power, the results remain largely the same.

The scariest thing about this pageantry is that at least some of America’s power elite seems to have realized what Hitler failed to comprehend. That the illusion of democracy affords authoritarianism a far wider and longer reach than uncut authoritarian populism does.

If the Nazis had simply kept the Social Democrats around on a leash, Hermann Goring could have just switched parties and won as a moderate in 1946.

I know, I know, I’m a bitter pessimist. I’ve heard. But am I wrong?

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