[Phnom Penh, 3/9/23]

Very early tomorrow, I’ll take a $15 bus to Stung Treng, a town no one has heard of. Even those who live there are shocked to learn its name.

“You mean this isn’t Cleveland, Ohio?! We wasted all these decades rooting for the cursed Cavaliers, with some of us spending much time and money tracking down memorabilia of the Cleveland Buckeyes of the Negro League. We all have a Lebron James jersey, though the name is always misspelled and the colors wrong.”

What follow, then, are my last sketches of Phnom Penh, coupled with whatever thoughts they trigger. It’s my modest au père randy

No, I’m not trying to sound like Biden with his nurses performing unusual procedures while breathing on him. He’s your leader and, most embarrassingly, face to the world! That’s why even Eswatini is dumping the US Dollar, I hear, all 12 bucks in its treasury.

While I had coffee this morning, the shrunken old lady with the scale walked by. She didn’t look too happy. There just aren’t enough fatsos to crush her scale each day. Although KFC, Burger King, Crown, Louisiana Famous Fried Chicken and Carl’s Jr are doing their best to rectify this, those who can eat American fast food can also afford a scale or two for home use, and perhaps even a tread mill. They don’t need scale ladies to find out they’ve become body positive.

Proper American English has become so confusing, it’s driving the world, and Americans themselves, mad. There are no fat and ugly retards left, only extra squeezable and abnormally gorgeous alternative geniuses.

Across the street from my morning cafe was an old, bespectacled man with carefully combed hair. Always in dress pants and a short-sleeved button-down shirt, he claims the same table each day to have his rice gruel. Often enough, monks would interrupt him to receive money, bottled water and instant noodles. Speeding towards the grave, many redirect their soiled souls towards Buddha, Jesus or Allah, while others would rather spend each remaining second and cent combing Bangkok’s Soi Cowboy or Pattaya’s Beach Road.

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