Midterm panic, another dystopian presidential speech, sweeping threat warnings, the DHS exposed, Bibi returns, the Air Force denies “sky penis” reports, three election headlines, and more

Welcome to the special who-the-hell-knows midterm edition of America This Week! Reminder: if you want to listen to Walter Kirn and Matt Taibbi’s election preview, please click here. For the print collection of pre-midterm horrors (and there are a lot, even by the standards of this column), read on. Top headlines:

Midterms: The Basics By Wednesday AM, Americans will finish voting in midterm congressional elections, although it’s unlikely we’ll know results for a month or more, thanks to a bizarre new phenomenon of American local governments being unable to count (see: third story, below). Two years after Joe Biden’s election, start with a truism: midterms often feature a swing against any newly elected president. The only recent exception was in 2002, when George W. Bush’s Republicans gained in both houses amid post-9/11 fervor. Though Rs under Donald Trump gained 2 Senate seats in 2018, they lost 41 in the House, while Ds under Barack Obama lost 6 in the Senate seats and a pucker-inducing 63 in the House. The scenario Biden supporters dread is the Bill Clinton outcome, when Dems in 1994 lost both houses in an all-time face-whacking, giving up 8 Senate seats and 54 House seats. Absent polling, which increasingly is about as reliable as corporate journalism, i.e. at best in the vicinity of true, fundamentals point to a Republican wipeout, especially with majorities of voters in both parties calling the plummeting economy “very important” to their choice. However, in key races, polls consistently reveal voters want to pick Republican but can’t stand the Republican candidate. The GOP only needs a one-seat pickup to win the Senate, but the five crucial races are furious/depressing tossups. Arizona Democrat Mark Kelly supposedly leads Blake Masters by 5 points, Nevada Dem Catherine Cortez Masto and GOP challenger Adam Laxalt are said to be tied 47-47, Georgia incumbent Raphael Warnock is reported three points (49-46) up on all-time college running back and oft-confused Republican personage Herschel Walker, and Pennsylvania stroke victim John Fetterman is shown leading by five over carpetbagging TV doctor Mehmet Oz, though a catastrophic debate performance may not be reflected yet. Conventional wisdom says Rs breeze in the House and the Senate is a coin flip, but the WTF factor in American politics makes betting harder than ever, in part thanks to:

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