By They/Them, The Spectator
A regular column by an anonymous whistle-blower operating deep within heart of the Social Justice Movement. To protect their identity, they will go under the code-name ‘They/Them’. Wokeyleaks is a confidential news leak organization for anyone wishes to divulge classified information (and hilarious anecdotes) about woke culture without fear of getting canceled. To any would-be Edward Snowflakes out there: leak your woke-culture war crimes to email@example.com. We promise to protect our sources.
A friend of mine who knows about my secret double life as a woke whistleblower for The Spectator asked me the other day how I became so right-wing. I answered that it wasn’t me that changed, it was the left. I still have the same political opinions I always had, but my woke friends all seem to have gone completely nuts — or ‘retarded’ as we used to call it. I apologize to anyone offended by that joke. I’m not making fun of people with mental disabilities. I’m making fun of Wokies who tend to go completely spastic at the tiniest little thing.
When I was young it was the left that did the offensive humor. In 1993 the left-wing comic firebrand Bill Hicks was cut from a Letterman show when he made jokes about religion and the anti-abortion movement. How the tables have transitioned. Today it would have been his fellow left-wing stand-ups that would have got him canceled faster than you could mansplain cunnilingus to Ellen DeGeneres. Making a non-woke joke on Twitter these days is about as fun as teaching a Prophet Mohammed life-drawing class in a suburb of Paris.