By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit

Exile in Happy Valley

Believe it or not, I didn’t choose to be Queer, I’ve been raging against my prescribed gender identity since I was barely old enough to kick a priest in the shins, but I do choose to live in what has come to be known as Trump Country. I was born a gender rebel in the Appalachian foothills of bucolic Pennsyltucky and I got my ass mauled by the locals for failing to fit in, but thirty-some years later, I’m still here and I have zero intention of leaving in the next century. That’s because, in spite of the bible-thumpers and the Walmart colonialism, I actually fucking love it here.

I love the endless twisting country roads that lead to my found family’s homestead deep in the holler. I love the rolling farmlands separated by rusty car parts and the fly infested Amish markets with their barefooted cashiers and diabetic shock inducing baked goods. Shit, I even love the four wheelers, trailer parks and gun shows. This is my home, and I want other Queer people to feel at home here too, so we can grow our own food, defend our own land and deschool our own kids our way.

When it all comes down to it, I am not just a Queer anarchist. I am a Queer agrarian anarchist. I strongly believe that in times of epic societal collapse like these there is no better place for gender outlaws to be free than in the poorly governed backwoods of rural flyover country. In order to live this way however, to build this life for my people, I have had no choice but to work with people who define my existence as a sinful lifestyle choice while they vote for people who do far worse than that. In other words, whether the mainstream left likes it or not, I have had to work with the “enemy.”

But who exactly is this enemy? Once you strip away the bullshit of electoral politics, your average deplorable is essentially just another pissed-off poor person who hates the fucking government as much as I do. These are people who would much rather sort things out themselves than call the police. These are people who feel much closer to God half-drunk and fishing than they do in church. These are people like me, who were born poor to this country but wouldn’t leave if you paid them because it affords them a level of freedom from the bullshit of modern civilization that money can’t buy.

In other words, there really is no logical reason for us to hate each other so goddamn much and this is precisely why the state, and their globalist corporate benefactors have to invest so much time and money into driving us all fucking crazy.

Few politicians have invested more ill-gotten resources into riling up my neighbors against some mythic Queer agenda than Donald Trump has over the last four years. He has transformed his public persona from a populist potty mouth who would much rather troll John McCain’s funeral than the Pride parade to an absurdly philanderous stadium church crowd exciter whooping up hysteria over bearded macho men playing ladybug soccer and mandatory sex change surgeries at a kindergarten near you.

There is a reason for this. The first four years in the White House alone proved that Donald Trump is just another neocon-hiring missile merchant to anyone actually paying attention, so he has to invest more and more resources into making sure that you’re way too pissed off at weird people like me for you to pay attention.

His problems have only been exacerbated ten-fold during his second term. The Donald has been outed by his own base as an Epstein client sheltering pedophile more beholden to Tel Aviv and Silicon Valley than he is to anybody’s main street. This is why that two-timing despotic Ceasar has embraced the assassination of Christian-Zionist boy-toy Charlie Kirk like a gift from Satan.

MAGA inc. was blaming transgender extremists for this pointless act of violence against an equally pointless social media personality before his body was even cold and now that the real killer appears to have possibly had some kind of connection to some kind of trans person, they are yodeling for Queer blood like head-chopping fedayeen assassins.

All around us, Trump’s minions and apparatchiks are answering the call to hysteria. Vice President JD Vance pulled Peter Thiel’s dick out of his mouth just long enough to host the first post-Charlie Kirk episode of the Charlie Kirk Show from the White House with MAGA Goebbels baby Stephen Miller at his side, howling for vengeance and calling for a vast crackdown against a broad mélange of left-wing opponents. Donald Trump Jr. was slightly less cryptic when he went off on a September 11th Rumble livestream, stating that it “seems like per capita- the radical transgender movement has to be the most violent movement anywhere in the world.” Boko Haram was not available for comment.

Now, Kash Patel’s Keystone Kops in the FBI are toying with the notion of using the purposely vague terrorist threat category of “Nihilistic Violent Extremist” to target transgender activists and his patrons in the Heritage Foundation are pushing it one step further with a memo calling on the feds to just label all of us as “Trans Ideology Inspired Violent Extremists” This dangerous cuckoo bird bullshit also comes on the heels of the Department of Justice’s attempts to strip trans people of our Second Amendment rights by including gender dysphoria in their red flag laws.

Now, I could tell yawl that trans people make up less than 1% of all mass shooters and point out the numerous statistics showing that we are also far more likely to be the victims of violent crime than the perpetrators, but Donald Trump isn’t concerned with facts, he is concerned with distraction, so, I am quite simply going to remind you all of exactly what he is trying to distract you from by asking you, my fellow hicks, the simple question of who do you really fucking hate here?

Are transwomen slaughtering Christian babies and leveling Catholic Churches in the Gaza Strip? Did we promise you peace in Ukraine only to turn around and hand Volodymyr Zelensky a Pat Sajak size check for missiles and a greenlight to send more kids to die in the Donbass? Was it an unhinged transgender extremist who buried the Epstein Files and sent Ghislaine Maxwell to a minimum-security summer camp? Is the Queer agenda handing over your tax receipts to the AI auditors over at Palantir? Or have you all been bamboozled by a trash talking, child molesting, Clinton financing, Zionist cuck in populist clothing named Donald J. Trump?

Now, he wants you to embrace gun control, cancel culture and pink-scare McCarthyism just so he can shut down the threat posed by homesteading pagan weirdos with AR-15s? Are you seriously going to let this city-slicking pedophile play you like that? Or are you going to finally wake the fuck up and realize that freedom is just another word for smashing the state and working with other people who just want to be left the fuck alone to live free or die is a much better way to achieve this goal than cutting deals with fucking billionaires?

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