Tip #1: Stop being a mindless consumer; start giving things away

I think it’s fair to say that many people today feel their lives are f*cked.

There is a sense that everything is so out of control that there is nothing we can do to make our lives better. Many important things are out of our control, but that doesn’t mean we are completely helpless.

So, I’ve decided to start a series with tips about how to unf*ck your life in simple ways. What can seem like very personal decisions actually are often reflexive behaviors we learned as part of our cultural conditioning and have never seriously questioned.

The first small (but often hard) step you can take is to stop being a mindless consumer.

I know: This is almost like asking you to not be an American.

But I’m actually going to go even farther.

Don’t just stop reflexively racking up purchases.

Do the opposite of your impulse.

Every time you feel like you need to buy something because it’s going to make your life better, quell your anxiety or maybe even fill that gaping hole in your soul, instead, give something away.

Here is something many people don’t know: nothing will shift your energy faster than getting rid of items you aren’t using and that you don’t need.

I don’t know why this is; I just know it’s true.

Share

So, when you feel that urge to engage in some “retail therapy,” instead go to your closet, garage, or storage unit1 and start culling out items that you don’t need and give them away.

You will be amazed by how great you feel after you do this.

Whenever I’m feeling stuck or anxious, my husband knows there are about to be garbage bags filled with clothes appearing out of seemingly nowhere. Or the pantry will be streamlined, and my neighbors will have their pick of non-perishable items that I’m not using and probably won’t, or at least not by their expiration date.

I always feel like a new person after this; more creative, open and relaxed.

What do you have that is gathering dust that someone else could use?

It’s time to stop hoarding things on the off chance you might use them one day.

If you haven’t used it in the last six months or six years, chances are high that won’t change (If you have a hard time parting with belongings, even those you don’t use, read this footnote)2.

Put that object in circulation so someone who will use it can find it. Imagine a financially strapped person happening upon your item in a thrift store and the excitement they will feel that they can afford a new dress or piece of furniture or whatever it is that they didn’t think they could get.

Be giving.

This will feel good.

Even better, when you have less stuff, you will feel lighter.

Then, fight the urge to replace it with an impulse purchase.

I could bombard you with social science about how fleeting the reward is for buying a new item, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I think you already know this.

Share

Retail therapy never delivers.

It might be fun for a minute, or a few days, but the spike in endorphins passes quickly and now you just have more stuff and often increased financial stress.

Participating in this system means accepting the cultural indoctrination that material items mean happiness, that other people will think more of you if you have them, and so on. If you think this isn’t indoctrination, spend time in another country (try Italy) where people are happy and have very little in terms of consumerist items.3

Don’t fall for what

calls “the false gospel of stuff and status.”

Italians mostly can’t afford to buy as many consumer items as Americans because they have an anti-debt mentality. What many non-Americans don’t realize is that most Americans actually can’t afford their lifestyles; they use debt to finance it. The average American is carrying around $3000-$8000 (depending on generation) in credit card debt, for example.4

There is also the simple fact that Italians generally live in much smaller homes than Americans and don’t have so much extra space to store items they aren’t using.

But I think the biggest factor is that unlike Americans, Italians are not confused about what makes people happy. They understand that grabbing an espresso or going for a walk with a friend is going to bring more joy than a new purchase.

A recent report found that the US is the richest country in the world yet by far has the most unhappy people.

The bottom line is to stop buying new things unless you absolutely need them or will definitely use them. When it comes to things you don’t need, only buy what you absolutely love and can afford without going into debt.

When I was growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s in a middle class family, this was just considered living a normal life. Now everyone thinks they are a Kennedy or Kardashian.

I’m not against owning things, or enjoying material items. Far from it. I love stylish clothes, great restaurants, travel and beautiful homes. What I’m talking about is being more intentional about how we spend our money and examining our level of mindless consumerism that very likely is causing more stress than we realize.

This isn’t about being moral or immoral, right or wrong. It’s just practical advice about how to instantly shift your energy, settle your nervous system and cut down on financial stress with very little effort.

Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.

Recommend Changing The Channel with Kirsten Powers to your readers

New York Times bestselling author Kirsten Powers offers fresh thinking about how we can make big changes in our lives, communities and country.