Anti-Imperialism/Foreign Policy

A True Story About Israel And Palestine

A husband and a wife were standing on top of a man one day drinking tea.

“Do we still have milk?” asked the wife.

“Yeah, like half a carton,” said the husband.

“HELP!” screamed the man.

“Oh well that’s good,” said the wife. “I was thinking I might have another cup of tea after this one.”

“Hmm, well maybe I’ll join you,” said the husband.

“Good tea,” said the wife.

“YOU’RE CRUSHING ME!” yelled the man.

“Think it’ll rain today?” the husband asked.

“Oh maybe,” answered the wife. “Looks a little gray out, doesn’t it?”

“I CAN’T BREATHE!” the man shouted. “I’M DYING!”

“I’ll hold off on watering the garden then,” said the husband.

“That’s probably a good — ahhh!” screamed the wife.

Her ankle was bleeding. The man they were standing on had slashed her with a piece of glass he’d found on the ground.

“What? What happened?”


“You bastard! I’ll kill you!”

They both began angrily stomping on the man and jumping up and down on him.

“Monster! Filth!”

“I’ll teach you to attack us!”

Other people standing around them took notice of the commotion.

“What happened?” someone asked. “What’s this all about?”

“We were just standing there minding our own business and this monster attacked us, completely unprovoked!” the husband said, kicking the man in the groin.

“We were just peacefully drinking our tea and going about our lives,” sobbed the wife while stomping on the man’s throat. “No one could have seen this coming!”

“Oh no!” cried the others. “We stand with you!”

“Get him! Kick him harder!” someone yelled.

A large muscled man ran over to them.

“Here are a bunch of weapons,” he said. “You make that bastard pay!”

The husband and the wife began stabbing and slashing the man with the weapons. They stabbed him and stabbed him and slashed him and slashed him, furiously taking revenge on his flesh.

“What did we ever do to you??” they screamed at him.

They kept hacking and slashing, gouging and severing. Blood spurting everywhere. Screams filling the air.

After a while, the faces of the onlookers started to change.

“Uhh, how long are you going to keep laying into him like that?” someone asked.

“UNTIL HE’S GONE!” they screamed.

They kept chopping away.

“Uhhh, I think maybe he’s learned his lesson?” someone said tentatively.

“Yeah, perhaps it’s getting time to think about laying down the weapons,” added someone else.

“What else do you expect us to do?” said the husband. “These savages only understand violence!”

They continued their onslaught while the onlookers grew more and more uncomfortable.

A woman broke down in tears.

One of the men ran away and vomited.

“Oh god,” someone said. “What have we done?”

I don’t know what happened after that, yet.


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