Sexuality and the State

Democrats Will Never Be Queer Allies

By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit

Exile in Happy Valley

Election season really does bring the very worst out of everyone and, as if Queer people don’t have it hard enough, this election season had to collide with Pride Month, putting us right smack in the middle of the fucking circus. For the Republicans this means lighting their torches and sharpening their pitchforks so they can chase us around for a while in front of the cameras. Florida Governor and professional Ronald Reagan impersonator Ron DeSantis rejuvenated his fag-bashing blue collar street cred by attacking the admittedly odd spectacle of family friendly drag shows as child endangerment and calling on parents who engage in such G-rated Disneyfied camp to be hunted down by Child Protective Services.

Not to be beat by the Texas GOP, who used the month of Stonewall as an excuse to rev up the engines of their pick-up trucks with a new party platform declaring that “homosexuality is an abnormal lifestyle choice” and reiterating their opposition to “all efforts to validate transgender identity” in language so unhinged from reality that it would give early-nineties-era Pat Buchanan a rager. Those self-loathing closet cowboys seem to be just one Austin Pride Parade away from climbing a clocktower and declaring the murder of Matthew Shepard a state holiday to prove their cis hetero manhood to daddy.

This is all part of a multi-year campaign by the Republican Party to chum wayward Trump populists without having to give up on forever wars and outsourcing. These neocons achieve this by posing like hip, politically incorrect, edgelords and kicking trans kids who play soccer in the teeth before grabbing their jock and flexing for the Proud Boys. But this year those mouth-foaming curb stompers weren’t to be outdone by a Democratic Party equally desperate to appear relevant in an age when they look increasingly like relics. Maybe I’m just a contrarian asshole but the only thing that feels worse than being used as a prop by bigots like Greg Abbot to prove how edgy he is is being used as a prop by bigots like Joe Biden to prove how woke he’s suddenly become.

This year, the Democrats celebrated Pride Month by beefing up the police state that failed to take Stonewall from us but somehow hasn’t yet failed at winning over the hearts and minds of the GOP-traumatized children of these faggots who whooped their ass back in ’69. Kamala Harris got the festivities cooking by revamping Nina Jankowicz’s failed Orwellian Disinformation Governance Board as a brand-new rainbow bedazzled “White House Task Force to Adress Online Harassment and Abuse.”

This new Ministry of Information sets itself apart from the last by specifically condemning “gendered disinformation” which according to Kamala basically amounts to insulting anyone with a vagina or anyone who should have been born with one who is vanilla enough to be picked from my tribe to represent us on the Death Star. Her memo specifically singles out women and LGBTQ Americans in positions of public or political leadership, and yes that includes cis gendered serial killers like Hillary Clinton. To top it all off, this whole new woke posse is being co-chaired by none other than those fine drone-jockeys at the National Security Council.

Joe Biden followed up this stunt by surrounding himself with a Barney-and-Friends-grade funky bunch of diverse, photogenic, Queer children so he could be filmed with them signing his historic “Executive Order on Advancing Equality for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Intersex Individuals” (You forgot non-binary furies, asshole!) This word salad of alphabet soup essentially amounts to the old man instructing various federal bureaucracies to look into GOP legislative hate crimes and wag their fingers at them. Joe ended his little virtue signaling serenade with a special message to freaks like me who suddenly matter enough for him to acknowledge. “Just be you. You are loved. You are heard. You are understood. You belong.” Aw, thanks Pop-Pop, but go fuck yourself.

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