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The Royal Family always wins

By Will Lloyd, the Unherd

Republicans don’t realise that the monarchy is a form of entertainment.

The oldest and best English joke is the length of time Prince Charles has waited — with nothing like stoicism — to become King. In their wisdom, our ancestors decided that the leadership of this nation was so minor a matter that almost anyone, so long as they refuted Rome and were the product of a family with a storied history of cousin-marriage, might do the job.

Most of us undertake thorough and detailed research when buying, say, an electric toothbrush. But when it comes to our next head of state, we don’t need to ask any questions because we already know the answer: it’s him with the ears. Dust off the crown and fetch Welby.

Sheer randomness of personnel is what makes monarchy so great. You can end up with a thug, a mystic, a gambler or, as we will eventually, a bloke who genuinely believes he can talk to plants. Greatness can be dunked into the cesspit at any moment. Royalty endures in Britain, not merely because of the pageantry, or the beauty, or its great ennobling truth, but because of its brutal, hilarious irrationality.

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