By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit
Exile in Happy Valley
Joseph Biden killed the liberal social justice warrior with a cane that he twirled around his diamond ring finger at the Democratic National Convention in Milwaukee, and blue lives were called in to matter, and his weapon took from him, as they rode him in custody down towards the White House, and booked Joseph Biden for Democratic nominee for president of these United States of Hysteria. But you who philosophize, disgrace and criticize all fears, take the rag away from your face, now ain’t the time for your tears.
Yes, dearest motherfuckers, we stand here today to pay our respects to a pain in the ass. For with the nomination and all too likely election of one Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, that once thriving moral upstart known as the white liberal social justice warrior is as good as dead, bleeding out from cane related injuries on the white marble floor of Eva Longoria’s palatial Beverley Hills mansion, murdered in an act of domestic violence by her own racist party for reasons as tragic as they were inevitable. Her memory and the rhetoric of her cause live on in the cruel minstrel shows of her killers as they dress up the same neoliberal policies in the clothing of a movement that was supposed to end them.
The social justice warrior, for whatever it was worth, was much more than a collection of rude if often accurate stereotypes. The white upper-middle class progressive liberal arts student, downwardly mobile do to predatory loans, and committed to everybody getting along or else she’d tell the dean on you, was essentially the future of the Democratic Party. Much like the hippies of yore, the SJW represented a new spirit for a new liberal America, and as condescending as she could be, she really wasn’t all that bad. She wanted many of same things I do and that I suspect many of you, my dearest motherfuckers, do as well. An end to the incestuous marriage of government and the predator class of corporate lobbyists who pull it’s strings. Equality for all minorities big and small, Black and brown, Queer and straight. And an end to the casual daily obscenities of systemic racism and rape culture. My only real beef with the bitch was her shifty priorities. She stole the left’s attention away from the unspeakable atrocities and existential threat of the war machine and placed it gently in a box of genteel political correctness that could fit easily in any polished war criminals Prius.