Once again, the Babylon Bee stands as one of the last bastions of honest journalism, along with The Onion and Hard Times.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—There has been much talk about renaming the Washington Redskins, since their offensive name has no place in our modern, enlightened society that has done away with all other immorality and sin.
The District of Columbia informed the team that they cannot return to playing within the district until they have a name that is more fitting for a team representing the capital of our country. To that end, the team officially announced today they would be renaming themselves to “The Washington Lizard People.”
“This is a much better name, far more reflective of the great city of Washington, D.C.,” said Eleanor Holmes Norton, D.C.’s representative. “All the politicians, bureaucrats, and leaders here in the district felt the name had great appeal.”