Celebrity Left Twitter is “a Thing”

By Rachel Haywire

I first came across the term “Celebrity Left Twitter” when I realized I had the same enemies as a bunch of communists. My initial reaction was disgust, being that communism epitomizes a collectivist mentality that seeks to downgrade the individual to the lowest base denominator. Nevertheless, the more I researched this phenomena, the more I realized these communists were onto something: these uppity progressive journalists were the spawn of satan. 

The far left and the far right are basically the same thing, riling against “the elite” in its various forms. Whether the elite = The Jews or The Nazis or The Communists or The Fascists or The Cultural Marxists, the elite is still the elite.

Now let’s ask ourselves what “the elite” means while removing our political affiliations for a moment. The elite = the people who control us. The elite = those who we cannot criticize. The elite = the people in power. Who is in power now? My answer is as follows: sociopathic millionaires who pretend to be ultra-progressive in order to appeal to the dominant political current. These are the people who were cheering for Bush during his war in Iraq, only this time they are fighting for gay marriage. Their aim is simply to be on the winning team, and they will adapt their views accordingly. They go where the money doth flow.

The enemy of the enemy isn’t always my friend. As Jim Goad puts it, the enemy of the enemy is probably just another enemy of mine. Yet the enemy of the enemy is often worse than the enemy itself. These progressive journalists are worse than communists. It’s these progressive journalists who are keeping us down, while the communists can’t even keep down a tent.

Both political extremes think these journalists are a very bad news item. While neoreactionaries call them The Cathedral, communists call them Celebrity Left Twitter. As fancy academics who rule the more-liberal-than-thou education/media empire-simulacra, both The Cathedral and Celebrity Left Twitter have plotted themselves against the common people. For the purpose of this article, let’s call ourselves the sheep.

These hipster journalists (the wolves in our clothing) have become the new rockstars, confining we-the-sheeple to the political ghetto. Actual rockstars have dropped off the map and these “celebrities” have taken their place. A few of their leaders are Laurie Penny, Molly Crabapple, Sam Biddle, and Melissa Gira Grant. This is a gallery of the hippest kids on the block, so coolhunters take note. They fancy themselves to be gonzo journalists, but if Hunter S. Thompson were alive today, he would line them up against the wall.

Now don’t get me wrong. I doubt these collectivist pawn scum are going to join hands with the ultra-retarditionalists anytime soon. Yet if you want to get technical, antifa is the same thing as fa. That’s right. (and left too, apparently) Antifascists and fascists are economically identical. Both camps are disaffected, angry, unemployed, cynical, and sick of it all. They beat each other up at concerts, threaten to kill each other on Twitter, and last but not least… have zero power or influence in media, finance, or culture.

Sometimes a well-meaning social activist will think that Celebrity Left Twitter is going to accept them because they are “on the same team.” They constantly retweet these people, hoping to gather their attention, even for a brief moment. They are immediately ridiculed, cast away with the common sheeple, and thrown into the political ghetto. (or stuck playing ass-kissing bottom for the rest of their lives)

The Cathedral/Celebrity Left Twitter doesn’t care if you’re at the anarchist rally or the fascist march. You are uneducated losers, and it’s their job to keep you out of the channels that bring you power, success, and influence. It’s not because you are anarchists. It’s not even because you are fascists. It’s because you are poor and/or impolite. These sociopathic millionaires and the journalists who represent them must go. This is, indeed, total war. Even if you defend the economic “rights” of rich people, I doubt you want it to be these rich people in power.

Celebrity Left Twitter is a thing. The increasing momentum against them is worth paying attention to, no matter where you stand politically. It’s not just communists who are taking a stand against them… but anarchists, post-leftists, and even some intelligent progressives. As for neoreactionaries, they have always been against them, unless they are die-hard techno-commercialists who would line up to kiss their ass. (in order to throw them off a cliff, but the cliff would still get banned)

We can either engage in an aggressive (counter?) revolution that will bring these people to their knees, or create something better. We can wipe them off the map entirely, at least in terms of cultural and market influence. We, the sheeple, don’t have to gawker at them. We can stop retweeting them, attending their events, and associating with them. We can stop dropping their names. We can regroup and restart.

We can stop yelling “fascist!” and “communist!” in these ghettos they placed us in. Instead, we can rise up and yell “death to the celebrity journalists!”

Celebrity Left Twitter doesn’t have to be a thing.

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2 replies »

  1. The trouble is that political movements are primarily social clubs. The aspect of identity outweighs accomplishment, for the CommuNazis as much as the Public Opinion Empire; only the latter are in power and thus have more practical incentive to cooperate.

    A successful radical movement, as a coherent movement, would have to be fascist in the 1930s sense, i.e. actually organized around people fearing for their lives instead of dumb white trash.

  2. Celebrity Left Twitter is not the establishment, Celebrity Left Twitter is the propaganda arm of the establishment. I think you are confusing the two.

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