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The Week in Bullshit March 27, 2014: Nickelodeon, Normandy and Empirical Evidence Edition

By The Digger

Nickelodeon Taken Seriously

Nick Cannon is a former Nickelodeon star. As far as I can decipher, this is his claim to fame (I don’t consider riding the Nickelodeon gig to a variety show host position a great leap forward). This former Nickelodeon star painted himself in white face and made some music. Many people are upset by this.

I have to say that I am disappointed that we live in a nation that is even emotionally moved by the hijinks of a former Nickelodeon star. I’m doubly disappointed that anyone would take a former Nickelodeon star seriously. The fact that both of those statements were necessary to make my point is a sad indictment of the bullshit that encapsulates many of the troubles in the United States today.

This Just In: Amphibious Warfare Obsolete

Talk about not burying the lead, this article sums up the entire piece in the first sentence. “The head of U.S. Pacific Command believes America does not possess the capacity to conduct amphibious assaults in the wake of a crisis, as it did during World War II.” This is either great or terrible news based on one’s perspective.

In the great column, it means that the United States has one less option to use in military adventurism. In the terrible column, it means that underpaid, abused and overworked members of the old-fashioned, non-mercenary military can no longer have decent tropical vacations pretending to invade Bora Bora, or whatever. Somewhere, a Republican Senator is issuing warnings about our lack of military preparedness. It says here, many strong arguments prove that nonsense wrong.

Another fact worth considering is that amphibious warfare is obsolete and expensive. Conventional warfare is no longer the preferred method of fighting worldwide. We don’t need a giant force of guys sitting on boats waiting for the chance to storm ashore in a hail of gunfire. To argue otherwise is bullshit.

And Now, EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE That Proves Some Science Groupies Are Idiots

I will respond to this stupidity in kind:

GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE A PACKAGE DEAL

Don’t believe in unlimited warfare, bombing civilians and corruption?

BAD NEWS, FRIEND

We’re out of welfare, social security and food stamps.

That one to one comparison makes the sloganeering above look like complete bullshit to me (and before you begin your rant, you should consider that just like government, there are competing interests in science – outside of the creation/evolution tomfoolery). I’ll be writing a complete post in defense of my position soon, because the last thing I want to see is the rational thought for which I left religion reduced to bullshit slogans and moronic group-think.