Culture Wars/Current Controversies

University’s Advice On How To Stop Rapists: Pee Your Pants

Political Outcast

I have never been called a gun nut by a liberal, nor do I think I ever will  be. I’m just not one of those types. I definitely plan on getting a gun soon and  learning to use it, but I, like many liberals writing our gun laws, do not know  the difference between a clip and a magazine, what makes an assault rifle an  assault rifle, or whether “bullet” and “round” are interchangeable.

That’s not to say that I don’t support gun nuts; I do. And being a gun nut is  certainly better than being an idiotic Democrat who fails to comprehend that  guns do not make good people into bad ones, but rather, bad people make good  guns into bad ones. I’d take being a gun nut over what I am dubbing a dumb  nut.

Last month the dumb nuts at the Department of Homeland Security released a  video that advised people in the workplace to throw  scissors at a shooter if, God forbid, someone ever decided to go postal.  Nothing stops crime like a solid ream of paper. It was all part of the  government’s effort to make not owning a gun in times of crisis look much more  appealing. It was meant to make people come to the fantastical realization that  bullets can be stopped mid-air with a good snip of the scissors and to make  people think, “I guess I don’t need to buy a gun after all, and I can just let  the government buy up all the weapons on the market for no explanation  whatsoever.”

Now the dumb nuts are at it again, this time reigning from the University of  Colorado. In light of a bill that was passed in Colorado’s State House that  banned all persons from carrying guns on the campuses of public universities,  UCO updated their recommendations to female students on how to deal with  rapists: pee your pants and induce vomiting.

That’s right–forget the DHS’s recommendations to throw Rolodexes; what will  really stop crime is to purge your stomach and your bladder so that any would-be  rapist will be so grossed out to go anywhere near you that he leaves you alone  and finds some other victim to violate.

Our public servants have officially gone off the deep end. They have become  so insane with their hatred of guns that they have convinced themselves that  adopting the silliest, most laughable methods of self-defense will be just as  effective as a bullet in keeping us safe.

Now can we please get the conversation started on term limits?

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