The Whooping Of The Tards

By Unleash the Beef

What lovely heartfelt signs totally not handed out by the campaign.

Political party conventions. Alternatively known as The Whooping of the Tards. Fucking gross.

Like… it’s 2012. The internet is everywhere. Information is no longer controlled by the hate-filled cunts at the helm of political divide and conquer. And people still vote?

People still believe in things. They fucking believe! They struggle to articulate what they believe in, because it’s nothing more than an illusion built of key words, but oh how dullards love regurgitating them. And painting them on signs to wave in support of their own enslavement.

“Yes! We want to be slaves! Slaves with no guns and none of our own money! Give us a mixed race candidate with male and female sex organs so we can show the world how intolerably tolerant we are! Death to those that lay claim to the fruits of their own labor!”

“Yes! We want to be slaves! Slaves with sanctioned guns and an allowance of some of our own money! But more importantly, give us anything but four more years of the negra. Shit, we’ll take a Manchurian Mormon whose brain is incapable of producing original thoughts and whose policies will be indistinguishable from the negra’s – whose policies are indistinguishable from the organized crime family son that preceded him – just as long as he says ‘America’ a bunch and continues to not be a negra. Death to the liberal fags… but also to thinking individuals that desire sovereignty over their own lives, don’t think the entire landmass we live on should be a militarized adult daycare, and don’t shoot a red, white, and blue load of Amerijizz at the conclusion of the Pledge of Allegiance or Star Spangled Banner!”

At Tuesday night’s Republican Death Cult assembly to nominate Mitt Romney to run against Barack Obama as the new face of the same slavery, the Republican powers-that-be unseated a group of Maine’s elected delegates representing Ron Paul (who – and I say this cautiously – might be the only decent human being to ever hold federal office, if that’s even possible). This caused an uproar among Paul supporters in the arena, who began chanting, “Seat them now!” in objection to the ruling. Moments later, their protest – a protest over elected delegates being thrown out strictly because they didn’t support the establishment’s Reptilian of choice – was drowned out by the rest of the arena ingeniously chanting, “USA! USA!”

And the American Bar of Stupidity was lowered even deeper into Earth’s crust.

They started a goddamnedmotherfucking “USA” chant in apparent opposition to an elected delegate’s frustration over being unseated without any justification other than the whim of the power-lizards. I mean, what am I supposed to type after that? What can be said for mankind after that? I’ve heard some inexplicable “USA” chants at UFC fights, when the crowd tries to get behind one of two fighters when neither is from the USA, but the RNC crowd founded a new frontier in non-applicable patriotism. While I understand that “USA” is the default chorus of false-prided American mongoloids, this application of it takes stupidity to places it’s never been before. And that’s remarkable considering it happened at a political convention – a Mecca of public displays of stupidity.

But since there’s no combating such indefatigable stupidity, I’m embracing it…

Can I get an Egg McMuffin and a hash brown, please?
I’m sorry, sir. We stop serving breakfast at 10:30.

I’m sorry, our bathrooms are out of service.

Excuse me, sir, do you know which direction the Wal-Mart is?

Hey man, quit literally pissing and shitting on me!

I’m Chris Hansen. Why don’t you have a seat and tell me what you’re doing here.

Politics is evil. Participation is a forfeiture of sovereignty and consent to be fucked in every sense of the word.

The Democratic Party is an organization that exploits the inexplicable self-hatred of feeble-minded people.

The Republican Party is an organization that exploits the inexplicable pride of feeble-minded people.

There’s a bunch of other parties that no one cares about because anyone stupid enough to potentially care won’t be allowed to by the Democrat and Republican parties. The Libertarian Party has the least cataclysmic philosophy of all parties, but in light of the fact that government is the negation of liberty, having a “Libertarian” political party is a deeply mind-fucking contradiction.

In sum:

Anyone that belongs to a political party is a cunt.

Anyone that votes is a cunt.

Wake up and fuck off. No – fuck off first. Then, if you wake up, stop by again and we’ll see if you’re still a cunt or not.

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