Who Cares About the Middle East?

Article by Jim Goad, who is probably the closest thing our era has to an H.L. Mencken. There are some real nuggets in this. Some samples:

“In personal terms, I’m considered a gentile to one side and a kafir to the other. In other words, both sides consider me to be the “other.” Yet if I dare mention it, one side will call me an anti-Semite and the other will dub me an Islamophobe. Both terms are unabashedly dishonest. One term presumes that Semites could never possibly do anything that might lead to anti-Semitism, while the other assumes that Muslims are never scary enough to induce Islamophobia. (Let’s leave the discussion of what exactly constitutes a “Semite” for another day.)”

“If it means we can get the frick out of the Middle East, I’d happily support any form of alternative energy, especially if we can find an alternative to the word “alternative.” Let’s harness the sun, water, and wind. Let’s harness Al Gore and Michael Moore’s flatulence. Let’s construct slave-labor camps where whiny progressive urban bicyclistsgenerate electricity via 24-hour forced pedaling at the crack of a whip. I say we put our full energy into deriving none of our energy from the Middle East.”

Some profound theological insights as well:
“Ideologically, there’s the persistently harebrained idea that the Middle East—those parched lands on which all this cousin-fucking and brother-killing has occurred seemingly uninterrupted since antiquity—is somehow holy. For 1,500 years, the Jews, Christians, and Muslims have been the Three Stooges using their warped concepts of the One True God to play a game of “Who’s your daddy?” against one another. But since the Promised Land makes no promises to me, I feel zero obligation toward it. And in the grander scheme, maybe it’s not the best idea to formulate modern foreign policy based on ancient prophecies from hallucinating goat-shtuppers. Otherwise, we may provoke Armageddon merely by being stupid enough to believe in it.”

Categories: Uncategorized

Leave a Reply