Culture Wars/Current Controversies

The Transgender Family Handbook

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When you type “My kid says they are trans” into Google, you’ll find articles emphasizing the risks of medical transition, a Focus on the Family page that suggests you “maintain a godly influence” in your child’s life, and a handful of informative, but bare-bones, web pages from medical associations and nonprofits. We wanted to make something different: a welcoming, comprehensive guide for transgender children and their parents, full of personal stories and suggestions from real families who’ve lived it. But how do you do service journalism on a sensitive topic that’s increasingly appearing in sensationalized headlines and panicked legislative battles? By asking a lot of questions. Like: “What was one thing you wish your parents did differently when you came out?” Or: “How’d you get connected to that support group for parents?” Or: “So you sent a group text to the class sharing her new name and pronouns. Mind letting us see it?” Through over 100 conversations with transgender people and their parents, our team of eight reporters gathered practical tips (like where to get the best binder or how to come out to extended family), advice on navigating the hard stuff (like dealing with bullies), and ideas for celebrating (with, say, a name-change ceremony). There is no one way to be trans, nor is there one way to parent. But our hope is that this helps provide practical support to those who need it and is an engaging read for anyone interested in the evolving American family.

— Marisa Carroll, features editor, New York, and Jordan Larson, features editor, the Cut

The Transgender Family Handbook 144 specific suggestions, from trans young people and their loved ones, that parents may find helpful.

Photo: Hugo Yu
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