Culture Wars/Current Controversies

9 Arguments To Instantly Destroy A Libertarian

Babylon Bee

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Debating a Libertarian can be tough because they do their research and the smell of bong water can be very distracting. We want to arm you with the knowledge you need so next time you happen upon a Libertarian, you can DESTROY him. We’re assuming it’s a “him.” Female libertarians are entirely fictional.

Here are 9 arguments guaranteed to totally CRUSH anyone who thinks Libertarianism is a good idea:

  1. Ask who will build the roads: No Libertarian has ever been able to answer this question.
  2. Remind him all the hard-working people at the Federal Reserve and special needs workers in the White House would lose their jobs: What kind of heartless person would want that?
  3. Ask him to please put on deodorant and some pants: This will distract them long enough for you to sneak away undetected.
  4. Make the point that if we aren’t involved in foreign wars, we won’t have any inspiration for those cool patriotic war movies starring Mark Wahlberg: Think of the priceless art our culture would miss!
  5. List all the thousands of government programs that people love: Like Social Security, Obamacare, free crack pipes…
  6. Say “a sphincter says what” really fast: Then wait for the poor sap to totally embarrass himself. Owned!
  7. Talk about the need for a social safety net for defense contractors: What does it say about society when we can’t even care for a struggling Raytheon exec?
  8. Talk about all the amazing things the government has done for us, like handling COVID: Private industry could never shut down kids’ schools that fast!
  9. Just call the FBI to raid him on the spot: Joe Biden’s go-to tactic for dealing with Libertarians.

Now go forth, and own the Libertarians!

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