by Rachel Haywire
What’s the difference between a redneck and a yoga-scenester?
Nothing. They are both degenerate subcultures. The yoga-scenesters think they are better than the rednecks, prancing themselves above those bigots and racists. Meanwhile, these people are just rednecks doing yoga. The rednecks and the yoga-scenesters are both stereotypes: characters that you see in a film or a YouTube parody: possessing their own variables of herd behavior. This very behavior is so noticeable that even jocks agree they are a lower species. Rednecks and yoga-scenesters are two sides of the same coin, harmoniously complimenting each other in an absurdist cartoon, representing the worst aspects of their respective political subgroups. Much like yoga-scenesters cannot embrace their inner bigot in a way that is not ironic, rednecks cannot embrace their inner flufftard in a way that is not sickening or desperate.
Why do people who are so similar hate each other? Perhaps they are looking into a mirror of their own degeneration, realizing that they too are a redneck doing yoga, and that nobody gives two sides of a fuck about them. The idea of saying anything positive about a redneck is instant social outgroup status, so yoga-scenesters wrestle with the redneck inside, forcing it into chains of irony. Perhaps. Yet hating the redneck is no different from hating the kike, spic, or nigger. It is a learned tribal behavior that gives one the thrill of hating the same thing as the other herd members. Most yoga-scensters do not realize this, which is why they will never stop being flufftards.
Of course there are rednecks who do yoga, and scenesters who are “down with the south,” but we usually only see these people in places like Williamsburg and Portland. These people, the postmodern artistes, display the disease becoming aware of its own implications. In a perfect world, yoga would not be a political issue. It would simply be a meditation practice. In a perfect world, rednecks would not be scenesters. They would simply be human. Instead, we have the state supporting yoga initiatives, and rednecks not even realizing this. Perhaps we are doomed.
If the yoga-scenesters and rednecks could join hands, realize their genetic differences, and form their own countries, perhaps I would not be writing this article. I find it mystifying that degenerate subcultures do not see their reflective opposites in plain view. Then again, I don’t want to cause another Civil War by even suggesting this. There is much repression in this culture of rednecks doing yoga. Form your own PC utopia, but don’t act like you you are better than those bigots and those racists. You want your own country of redneck elimination. You would put rednecks into concentration camps just to impress your friends.
The ignorance of the yoga-scenesters put them on the same level as the rednecks they despise. They might as well join the KKK.