By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit
Exile in Happy Valley
If you’re reading this now, chances are you’ve already saved democracy by voting for some asshole and chances are you were probably guilted into it on the fear of semi-fascism by a relentless campaign of 24/7 multimedia harassment. Chances also are that in spite of all this heavy-handed peer pressure coming from the virtue signaling class, you probably still feel like shit about pulling that filthy lever on election day and I’d like to use my latest rant to try to explain to you exactly why you feel so damn cheated by this thing we call “American Democracy” even though you’re supposedly the last action hero for taking part in it.
I have been credibly accused of being an insufferable contrarian cunt who relishes in being the kind of leftist heretic that mainstream shitlibs love to hate. What can I say other than guilty as charged. But even I’m not going to sit here and pretend that Donald Trump and his witless lackeys aren’t guilty of at least 90% of the things that the establishment intelligentsia breathlessly accuses them of on a near daily basis. Trump is a grotesque wannabe despot hellbent on winning pretty much anything he can win at any cost just for the bragging rights.
After he failed to convince his supposed allies in the Republican Party to just hand him the last election, Orange-Man-Bad threw a riotous temper tantrum at the Capitol and has spent the better part of the last two years trying to replace anyone with even the smallest degree of influence over the election process with a member of the most hysterically devoted pack of lunatic goons that Israel’s money can buy. Many were on the ballot this Thursday and sadly, quite a few probably won. I’m sure these spineless imbeciles probably have every intention of following their orange duce’s orders, whether this means rigging the machine to insure he wins or discrediting it with bullshit conspiracy theories when they fail to do so.
All of this is true. The label of semi-fascist may be overkill for your average blue collar MAGA dupe, but it fits the Donald like a fucking slipper, and I’ve never contested this fact. Trump is many, many, many heinous and unspeakable things. He is a soulless, lecherous, race-baiting, pathological sex fiend with the busted moral compass of your average entitled yuppie antagonist in a Bret Easton Ellis novel. But there is one thing that motherfucker is not, and it is also the one thing his equally loathsome foes in the mainstream media will never be caught murdered denying.
Doanld J. Trump is not original. He is a consummate plagiarist and a shameless fabulist. In fact, this is probably the biggest attribute that he shares with Adolf Hitler aside from his weird dick and daddy issues. Just like Hitler, Trump is a hopeless waste of a copycat criminal. The tragic Fuhrer cribbed the lion share of his brilliant persona off of the one erected around Benito Mussolini and the absurd Donald totally ripped off his own Big Steal from his longtime frenemies, the Clintons.
Donald Trump only won the 2016 Presidential Election, largely fair and square by Electoral College standards, because Hillary Clinton fucking blew it by cheating in the Primaries. That neoliberal pit viper had been mercilessly plotting her hostile takeover of this nation’s highest office since she agreed to marry a dope smoking sexual predator just to play that sexist hayseed like a satanic Liberace on horse speed. But after being unanimously dumped in 2008 for some Chicago-trained Hawiian novice, Hillary decided that she would be goddamned if she was going to let it happen again. So, in 2016 Hillary rigged an election.
