By Nicky Reid aka Comrade Hermit
Exile in Happy Valley
It’s all coming down, dearest motherfuckers, and there isn’t a damn thing we can do to stop it. A lifetime of obsessive-compulsively reading the tea leaves of every dead white doomsayer from Karl Marx to Ted Kaczynski has led me to the inescapable reality that after five thousand years of this crazy little fad we call the state, Western Civilization is finally on the brink of collapse. The signs surround us, and they are all written in flames.
The ice caps are melting, the reefs are bleaching, the rainforests are burning, and the oceans are turning into rising pools of caustic acid. The only thing proliferating faster than failed states are the cold wars needed to justify their existence just long enough for World War 3 to reduce us all to radioactive vapor. Capitalism is devouring its own gangrenous limbs as it rapidly runs out of wasteland to expand upon with the global debt now more than 300% larger than the global GDP.
And as these malignant institutions that have defined a civilization that brought us the miracles of artificial intelligence, the Holocaust, and the hydrogen bomb enter a final state of freefall, the lumpenproletariat raised in the shadows of its skyscrapers and smokestacks are reacting with an epidemic of random acts of unspeakable brutality, pushing little old ladies beneath subway trains and shooting up elementary schools. I honestly don’t know how many more plagues you people need. The Pharaohs only needed ten.
It’s fucking over people. It doesn’t matter how many UN Climate Panels, international peace summits, or green new deals you hurl at this Kraken called collapse, it’s too fucking late. Frankly, it was too fucking late the moment we decided to play god-of-dirt with the Agricultural Revolution and invented this twisted little concept called property.
The panacea of progress was always a poison pill and its suicide might be reason for celebration if it hadn’t expanded to such gargantuan proportions that it threatens to take the entire classroom of mankind and most of our furrier friends down with it. If this post sounds apocalyptic that’s because it is. I’m deeply sorry, dearest motherfuckers, I really am, but this really is the conclusion that all of my work has lead me too. Civilization is fucked and we’re not all going to make it. But I will be goddamned if my tiny tribe of fearless freaks goes down with the ship.
Queer is more than just a lifestyle choice to me. It is my tribe. It is my race. It is my nation. After a childhood defined by self-esteem crippling systemic abuse, I didn’t even know what safety felt like before I found my people. Belonging with the unbelongable literally saved my life. Now my jihad is to return the favor by finding my people a lifeboat and convincing them to abandon society and take it. This is the true motivation behind all of my wild contrarian schemes.
This is why I abandoned the moribund revolution of Third World communism for the dynamic heresy of post-left free market panarchy. This is why I advocate the militant decentralization of secession, agorism, civilian militias, and direct democracy. This is why I risk total alienation from my left-wing comrades to build bottom unity among sovereign citizens, paleolibertarians, and Boogaloo Bois. Che Guevara’s quixotic last stand against the raging windmill of global capitalism failed in the heart of the jungles of Bolivia fifty years ago and now survivalism is the name of the game. Everything I do, everything I am, is devoted to making sure that the people I love are among the survivors.
