“You couldn’t make this shit up” – Salvador Dali, probably
Cargo ship the Dali crashed into the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore, Maryland, leading to a rather spectacular collapse. Current estimates of the incompetence-to-malice ratio of this event vary widely, but reliable sources state that the vessel was transporting a shipment of weird melty clocks.
Who would ever have guessed this guy was untrustworthy?
Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced to 25 years in prison for scamming gullible tech-bros. The Effective Altruist movement was briefly in uproar, but they quickly regrouped and started debating the morality of pre-emptively nuking the entire planet to prevent anyone from being scammed ever again.
The USA increases pressure on India following the arrest of Chief Minister of Delhi Arving Kejriwal, which Western commentators believe to be politically motivated in the run-up to the national elections. No way – seriously? Are you saying that a corrupt oligarchy would stage an unlawful arrest in order to prevent an undesired rival from taking office?! I – I just can’t even. I need to take a lie down before I get to the next bullet-point. Time for a commercial break.
Are you ready to ascend to new levels of basedness?
Eclipse season is here, and the upcoming solar eclipse will be visible across a stretch of North America from the Pacific coast of Mexico to Nova Scotia. Some astrologers say this eclipse will be a harbinger of war, chaos, and ‘a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment.’
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