ChatGPT is for suckers

In the public markets, Microsoft’s rally on Bing’s revamp brought its market cap back above $2 trillion. BofA expects Alphabet’s stock will spike more than 20% as years of prior investment in AI pay off. Some stocks have even soared up to 300% in a meme-like frenzy.

In the private market, VCs are pouring into AI as fast as they can, and it’s driving startup valuations up. Last year, VC-deal activity in AI tech shot up to $118 billion, per PitchBook.

Of course, some companies flying high on AI will crash and burn, but my view is that — unlike crypto — there are tons of ways AI will boost our economy and create real value. What do you think? Let me know: insidertoday@insider.com.

— Nicholas Carlson

Musk, Haley, & Walmart

• Nikki Haley took a dig at Trump’s age and called for mental competency tests on pols over 75 in her 2024 presidential campaign kickoff. More on that here.
• Elon Musk’s mood and intensity at Twitter are “worse” than during Tesla’s existential crisis five years ago, staffers told us. Read our story here.
• Walmart is closing a batch of stores in 2023 — here’s the full list.

Cutthroat fitness empire

Anderson’s been touted as “Hollywood’s secret weapon.” She’s so beloved by Gwyneth Paltrow that the actor even invested in Anderson’s business. Her empire caters to wealthy women and offers a dance-based workout in a room heated to 95 degrees with 75% humidity. One former TA trainer told Insider, “This is not just a gym; it’s a status symbol.”

But despite the success, Anderson has existed in a state of paranoia for years — constantly fearful that her trainers would quit and steal her clients and her method, several people said.

For many Los Angeles and New York trainers, receiving legal threats from Anderson has become a rite of passage, someone who worked on the business side of Anderson’s company said. She added, “It’s almost become like a punchline.” (In a statement to Insider, a representative for Anderson called the claims “false.”)

TOP READS

ChatGPT, FBI spy chief, & more

• ChatGPT is for suckers. Insider’s Adam Rogers points out that AI chatbots, like ChatGPT and Google’s Bard, are built to say things with incontrovertible certainty despite a complete lack of expertise. The tech elite even jokingly call them “mansplaining as a service.” Read the story here.
• British authorities surveilled the then-FBI spy chief’s secret 2018 meeting with a Russian contact. A source told Insider that the FBI later used the meeting as part of their basis to open an investigation into Charles McGonigal. The full story.
• “I used Amazon’s new prescription service for generic medicines.” Insider’s Yeji Jesse Lee tried RxPass, which costs just $5 a month and gets you access to generic medications for 80 health conditions — from allergies to anxiety. Here’s what it was like.
• Americans are quitting plant-based meat. You can blame high prices, worse taste, and questionable health benefits. Inflation isn’t helping much either. Read more.
• “I quit my job and biked around the world to find true happiness.” Christopher Boyce spent a decade studying happiness as a behavioral scientist. Here are five truths he learned from his epic journey.
• An Ohio restaurant forced servers to work 60 hours a week for just $10 in wages plus tips, the Department of Labor says.The DoL’s investigation found that the restaurant owner made servers cash their paychecks and then pay their wages back to him in cash. Read more.
• A TikToker says he may have accidentally eaten a $120,000 potato chip. While filming a “what I eat in a day” video, the TikToker said he accidentally ate a heart-shaped potato chip that had the potential to win him a huge cash prize. More here.

Tesla’s Chinese competition

Ohio’s train disaster

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