The Vegetarian Personality 7

By Jim Goad

I have trouble accepting the idea that Hitler was a vegetarian. He just didn’t seem that pushy.

Apparently others feel the same way. When I started typing “pushy vegetarians” on Google, it auto-filled the rest after “pushy v—.”

Of all the annoying identity movements under the giant rancid rainbow, what is it that causes militant vegetarians to be the most obnoxious? What is it about the Vegetarian Personality that makes me wish someone would cannibalize them? What is it about being lectured by vegans that makes me want to drive straight to Wendy’s and order a Classic Triple?

Is there a chemical in bean sprouts that causes self-righteousness, or perhaps an enzyme in beef that minimizes sanctimony? If you are what you eat, radical vegetarians must be eating something very unpleasant. They bare their tempeh-nibbling fangs to reveal the rabid hostility that always seems to be a hallmark of those who feel compelled to make a grand public display of their “compassion.” But hilariously, a recent study suggests that “exposure to organic foods” leads people to be less altruistic.

The mouthier vegetarians I’ve known seem to respect all life forms except for those that happen to be in the room with them at any given time. Because they are opposed to animal suffering, they apparently feel entitled to make every human being around them suffer. It reminds me of an exchange between George and Jerry on Seinfeld:

GEORGE: I can sense the slightest human suffering.
JERRY: Are you sensing anything right now?

If God didn’t want us to eat meat, you’d think he would have made tofu taste better. But I’m not even suggesting that red meat is healthy or that all vegetarian diets are unhealthy. I don’t possess adequate nutritional knowledge to act like a True Believer either way. This isn’t about health, it’s about a certain personality type. There’s a huge difference between eating vegetarian and actingvegetarian.

“If God didn’t want us to eat meat, you’d think he would have made tofu taste better.”

I realize all vegetarians don’t act that way. But a repellent minority insists on yelling so loudly, you can’t hear what the other ones are saying.

So I’ll respectfully spare those who keep their precious food choices to themselves. I’ll focus on the more radical factions such as vegans—i.e., those who eschew all animal products including dairy—as well as the more extreme fringes such as fruitarians and, way out near Pluto, the breatharians. Far more than simple vegetarianism, veganism seems rooted less in genuine health concerns than in lunatic apparitions such as “animal justice.”

It’s not like such extreme beliefs are sometimes used as a pretense to commit bombings or arson. It’s not as if nutritionally psychotic parents have passively allowed their children to die in GeorgiaFloridaFranceEngland, or New Zealand.

It’s been suggested that a deficiency of Vitamin B-12, which is gapingly absent from the vegan diet, can lead to psychosis. There’s also a proposed eating disorder called orthorexia nervosa that attempts to explain obsessive fixations on dietary purity.

Still, I suspect there was something wrong with many of these people long before they stopped eating animal cadavers. They remind me of the compliant bottoms in what Erich Fromm described as the master/slave equation that forms the complete “Authoritarian Personality,” a “masochistic and submissive individual, who fears freedom and escapes into idolatry.”

Like all True Believers and Authoritarian Personalities, militant vegans adhere to some common CAUSE they deem far more important than their own lives—a noble and holy cause which, paradoxically, leads them to act highly ignoble and profane.

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7 comments

  1. Keith , Trying to be a wit? You are half way there. You are truly an unthinking ass! The reason you feel threatened by vegetarians and vegans is because you realize that your selfish habits negatively impact the animals you eat and the planet. Evolve shit head!

  2. “The reason you feel threatened by vegetarians and vegans…”

    Yes, everywhere I go I’m looking over my shoulder for vegans lurking in dark alleyways. :-)

    Dude, if you can’t take a joke, then fuck you.

  3. right on Liam. if this guy were vegan, he might have a chance at being witty. but as it is he’s just another self-satisfied, mindless animal-flesh-and-secretion consuming human. there’s just so much stupid around. 150 years ago guys like him made witless jokes and other attacks on abolitionists. meh.

  4. Animal rights is merely the pro-life of the Left. That said, minus the state vegans can have their own enclaves and separatist communities and carnivores can have theirs, just like there can be pro-life and pro-choice communities. Let’s be done with the argument.

  5. I’m opposed to moralism of any kind, including anarchist/libertarian moralism. Moralistic arguments against the state are probably the most unimpressive arguments libertarians use. That’s a major problem I had with Rothbard. The overthrow of the state is not a moral enterprise but simply an assertion of the will to power. The killing of state agents is merely an expression of the ego.

  6. Humans are apex predator ultimately. We can digest meat, we can acquire meat, thus do we eat meat. By the way, I’d point out not all animals are wonderful plant munchers. What say militant vegans to this? Other apex predators such as lions, tigers, and so on are just as “Speciesist” as humans in this respect. What do the militant vegans want to do? Protest the big cats?

  7. I’ve actually had vegan nutcases try to tell me that animals are actually more humane when they prey on other species. Eating only the sick and dying, for instance. It’s like they just live in their own reality.

    If someone wants to avoid eating meat because they think it’s cruel to animals, then I can respect that just like I can respect anti-abortion people who really believe aborting a developing fetus is the same as murdering a child. I just think their logic is really twisted and one-dimensional, that’s all.

    We’re having an interesting discussion about this on my FB page:

    http://www.facebook.com/keith.preston.77/posts/137546519750120

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